Unspoken Etiquette Rules About Reclining Your Seat On The Plane

Airplane seats are uncomfortable, especially in economy. We all know this, but until some mad scientist comes up with teleportation, we're stuck with them. They're smaller than they used to be, the armrests are often unusable because some airlines put the in-flight entertainment controls on them, and you're stuck in one position for hours at a time. Then there is that person who reclines their seat really quickly, spilling your drink or closing your computer on you (it always seems to happen right before you hit "save"). Maybe you're on the other side of things, and you desperately need to sleep with your seat reclined, and the person behind you is upset about it. What is the etiquette for reclining seats? While you are allowed to recline unless instructed otherwise by a flight attendant — after all, you paid for the seat and all its features — it's always a good idea to ask the person being affected by it. A "no" when you ask to recline should be respected, and if the person in front of you needs to move the seat back, it's kind to allow them to.

Whether you fall on the pro side of reclining, or you think it's something people should never do, the debate isn't going away. People just disagree, and there are good points on both sides. Ultimately, though, the unspoken rules around reclining your seat come down to respect for other people. 

Whether you're pro or con in terms of reclining, you're not alone. One recent commenter on Reddit said, "The kind of people who recline their seat for long periods are usually the kind who go through life without considering other people." Another said, "The chairs recline so you can recline it as much as you need to, night time or not. Flying economy is a miserable and uncomfortable experience and if people need to recline, let them." Some people take passengers out of it altogether, like one who said, "I feel like the airlines are to blame here. By making the seats so close together you either have to sit uncomfortably for however long or put the back of your seat in someone else's face."

Being kind and respectful is always a good policy. If you really need to recline, it's nice to ask the person behind you if it's okay, and explain why you need it. If someone in front of you is reclining, asking them politely to raise the seat is more likely to get results than yelling. You can even ask if you (or they) can recline for a limited period of time instead of the entire flight. Remember that, even if you do ask nicely, you may not get the response you want. If it's really an issue for you, ask the flight attendant, but remember that this could escalate the situation, and you may not get the answer you hoped to from them either. 

While this debate will continue to rage without changes to the way planes are built, there are a few things that may make this easier, whichever side you're on. First, you can choose to sit in the bulkhead seats, which are the ones at the front of economy. There is a wall in front of you, so no one is going to recline. You could also choose the back row on the plane, so you can recline without anyone behind you getting upset. One really helpful website is seatguru.com, which can tell you the size of specific plane seats (by type of aircraft and airline) and how much they recline. If you plan on sleeping and you're worried you'll be asked not to recline, the window seat is a good choice so you can lean on the wall. You can also try to make yourself a comfy nap spot with earphones, an eye mask, soft shoes, and a blanket. 

Another option is to fly at times when there may be fewer people on the plane, like a red eye. You can ask at the gate if you can find a seat that isn't next to someone else so you can slide over if you need to use your laptop. Of course, upgrading to a seat in business class or first class will give you more room, though that depends on your finances. Finally, if you're getting annoyed with someone else's seat-reclining choices, taking a moment to breathe can help you calm down. Many airlines now have meditation programs on their in-flight entertainment system, like JetBlue, which has videos to assist in keeping you relaxed.