What To Do When Your Airplane Seatmate Invades Your Personal Space

Unless you're lounging in business class or miraculously landed a row all to yourself in coach, you don't really get to have a say on who you sit next to during flights. You're already considered lucky if you end up next to someone who minds their own business the entire flight. Sometimes though, you're forced to be elbow-to-elbow with a toddler in full meltdown mode or someone who clearly missed the memo on personal space. That was the predicament Tiktok user @emilywetzelsmith found herself in on one particular flight.

In a video that has racked up over 360,000 views, she documented an uncomfortable encounter in which she experienced an invasion of her personal space from an unexpected angle — the passenger seated behind her. Unfortunately for her, her fellow passenger had their hands resting on top of her seat, nearly touching her head. "This is infuriating!!!!!" she wrote in the caption. It's unclear if that passenger ever managed to notice that they were encroaching on her space, but what remains indisputable is the fact that her boundaries had been breached.

The incident unsurprisingly sparked a debate, with fellow travelers taking to the comments section to share their two cents. Some suggested that she should have done a full-on confrontation, while some advised that she should have pushed the hand off so the offender could take the hint. However, a customer experience expert advised a more civilized approach: Why not just talk to the guy?

Apparently, being kind pays off for so-called seat sprawlers — at least most of the time. You don't necessarily have to be equally as rude when you're dealing with a seatmate who invades your personal space. According to Roy Barnes, a customer experience expert and CEO of Blue Space Consulting, engaging in friendly conversation could work. He advised initiating a chat before the flight takes off (aka, before they do the sprawling) so you can break the ice and establish a rapport. "Sit down, immediately say 'hello,'" he told USA Today. "Comment on how nice it is that the airline gives so little space and ask how they would like to take turns using your joint space."

If that doesn't work, Jacqueline Whitmore, an etiquette expert who previously worked as a flight attendant, suggested that asking your seatmate nicely to back up a bit can do the trick. "Say something like, 'It seems that these planes are getting smaller and smaller. Would you mind moving your arm (or bag) over just a touch?'" she shared with ABC News.

Should your seatmate remain impervious, then it may be time to approach a flight attendant to help remedy the situation. They may be able to offer a seat swap if the flight isn't full, or at least do something to help enhance your comfort for the duration of the flight. Sometimes, a little backup from the flight crew is necessary.